4 Simple Steps to Absurd Abundance
Week 2 in your Year of Experimenting with the Absurd
Welcome to week 2 in the year of absurdity.
Last week, on a whim, I decided this would be the year I finally introduce my readers to this project. If you’re just getting started here, check out the FAQ on this project, Experimenting with Absurdity. I’m totally not ready to put it out, but as you’ll learn, sometimes you have to just leap and the net will appear. Last week, when Discourse Magazine asked me for a prediction for 2024, I knew the net was starting to appear. Here’s what I said:
2024 will be a year of absurd abundance.
The world seems topsy-turvy, but we’re kind of starting to like it. By embracing the idea that we cannot fully comprehend our circumstances, we step into a new wealth of knowledge—and frankly, a lot more fun. We’re going to start embracing the vast possibilities that can result from the inherent unpredictability of the human condition, and in so doing we will increase our tolerance for uncertainty. With this tolerance, we will have the resiliency to explore complex ideas that lie at the intersection of philosophy, mathematics and science—what could be more fun than that? For the everyday person, building resilience will mean learning to enjoy the exciting, incessant developments in science and technology, while understanding that everything will inevitably change for better and for worse. Here’s to thinking deeper, playing harder, loving more tenderly and having a maximalist fever dream of a year!
If you likey what you see, read on for my FOUR STEP PLAN (hurrrhurr) to help you learn to recognize and embrace the Absurd. For the low, low price of (idk how much a month), you’ll get full access to
366 daily reflections
thot exercises
and behind-the-scenes struggles, successes, and shit-talking that will come along with publishing this insane project.
INTRO TO ABSURDITY:
Be warned - if you’re looking for answers, I ain’t gottem. Best I can do is stories and insights. You’re gonna have to find the answers in yourself.
What I will do is help you dip your toes into the pond of absurdity until you warm up to the idea of your utterly inconsequential existence. Once you’re cozy with the dearth of evidence pointing to some grand scheme, you will be free to see the world as you wish. From there, the task is simple: continue existing, rinse, and repeat.
What is the Absurd? The Absurd is the idea that there is no grand meaning to life, and this is exactly why we must continue existing and creating a semblance of meaning for ourselves. And no, there is no scientific evidence to support this, but there is an absolute lack of evidence to support a greater meaning to life. So, the universe neither precludes us from action nor propels us in any particular direction. We get nada in terms of empirical meaning.
The good news is, that when you can admit that life doesn’t require a universal meaning, you’re free to create your own. How? Well, what kind of 21st-century, late-capitalist author would I be if I didn’t give you a handy-dandy four-step guide to apply one of the most challenging and abstract concepts of our time?!
Four Steps* to Embracing the Absurd
*Fucking take me back out and shoot me if I end up putting this in print without the highest degree of sarcasm.
I’ll break these steps down into 90-day sections where I’ll teach you as much as I can in a daily bite. The deal is, I give you food for thought, you do the chewing.
STEP 1: Accept the Absurd and live as a rebel
(Weeks 1- 13 )
As a scientist, accepting the Absurd was harder than a motherfucker. I lean towards agnosticism in the absence of evidence, so diving into the very conclusive statement that “Life has no inherent meaning” was a leap - very unscientific of me. On the other hand, the burden of proof is on Life, and as far as we know science doesn’t prove anything, it merely helps us uncover evidence to support a ‘maybe’ some shit’s true and at best a semi-solid ‘not so much’.
Scientists seek evidence to support their hypothesis, but in everyday life, we scientists are a bunch of hypocritical schmucks who make decisions with zero proof, and better yet, many of our decisions go against the evidence we gather. Here are some ridiculous decisions that I’ve made that have turned out good, so far:
Marrying my childhood sweetheart - Together forever? Statistically should be a fat no, but we’re pushin’ 17 years, suckahs. TWENTY SEVEN total. Yeah.
Having a child - will I be happier? The evidence says probably not, but I’m so glad I did. My kid is the light of my life.
Quitting my job - will I go bankrupt? Maybe. If this book doesn’t sell. But I’m doing it anyway.
Cave diving - is it dangerous? Absofuckinglutely. Let’s goooo! Don’t tell my insurance underwriter.
You want evidence? Well, I’ve got at least anecdotal evidence that sometimes evidence-based decisions are overrated. We’re making complex decisions here. Unless you’ve got LaPlace’s Demon in your back pocket, you’re gonna be missing a few data points. There are some places where we can use evidence with confidence, but to hell with the rest.
Listen, I’m not telling you to through science out the window. I’m just saying science isn’t everything. Lucky for you, you don’t have to have all the evidence or know all the right answers. All you have to do is accept that we can’t understand everything, and keep trying anyway.
That’s the Absurd.
We won’t find a universal meaning, but we must keep trying to create it.
That’s the Absurd.
If you’re now wondering ‘well shit, why should I continue to exist…why not end it now? Why not spare myself the pain of this wretched, exhausting existence?’
GOOD.
That’s where you should be. If you accept that there is no meaning, this is nihilism. This is exactly where philosopher Albert Camus found himself at the very beginning of his book The Myth of Sysiphus. This is where I met him. I had been asking myself the very same question when I opened the book to find the opening line:
“There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is suicide.”
If you accept that life is meaningless and you kill yourself… well first of all what a bore. You’re taking a big L, and the big meaningless universe just swallows you up. “NAH,” says Camus. We must resist the void. To beat the absurd, we must rebel against it. Our continued existence is a constant rebellion against the Absurd.
Life is meaningless and that’s why we have to live! Good one, universe. That’s rich. A real knee-slapper.
We have only this brief possibility for a spirited rebellion against the void, so we might as well make the most of it. The fun begins here, when you recognize that life makes no sense, you’re utterly lost, and you have to keep going anyway.
STEP 2: Embrace your new freedom
(Weeks 14-26)
We all seek freedom, but few have a clue what to do with it once they have it. If I told you life was meaningless, you gotta go make meaning, what would you do? Me? I quit my job and sipped Aperol spritz on my patio every afternoon for an entire summer writing furiously about shit no one asked me about. And lemme tell you: WHAT A CHOICE. I am FREE. I took the freedom concept literally for this experiment, but even if I go back to work, I’m still free to live the most life I can live within my physical constraints.
Sounds rad, right? It is. Freedom is radical. If you can wipe the slate clean, the rules are yours to make, but bruh… Writing your own rules isn’t as easy as it sounds - it involves a radical acceptance of that responsibility. Whatever happens, is a possible consequence of your choices. We’ll talk about Jean Paul Sartre later…and you’ll understand why freedom is a burden, but an awesome one.
STEP 3: Live with passion
(Weeks 27-39)
By this time, we’ll be half way through our journey. Let’s imagine by then we know 1)This shit is Bananas and 2) We can write our own rules… So what's left but to live it up?! If you could do anything today (and every day after that) what would you do? It’s a daunting question, but in practice, it’s less terrifying. I can’t actually sip Aperol spritz on my patio every day, and nor would I really want to. In reality, we have to make sacrifices and commit to whatever it is that we want. Then, we face the consequences whatever they may be. In this phase, we learn how each action, sacrifice, and consequence is not only a rebellion against the void, but it drives us towards a fulfilled life through an abundance of experience.
Camus calls the Absurd his “passion” or his obsession. This life is it for him. Unfortunately, for Camus, there was no possibility of an afterlife. He lived “without appeal” for something more. He lived every day in rebellion, and it’s what drove him to seek happiness, love, and fulfillment. He practiced living in the moment, much like the stoics, and this kept him in constant motion toward fulfillment. The goal is to embrace the whole process - ups and downs and everywhere in between.
It’s at this point where you might start to think absurdism sounds a lot like hedonism, but the Absurd being knows that the pursuit of pleasure isn’t the meaning of life. Pleasure is a part of life, and nothing more. All we’ve got to do is live through all the parts, conducting new experiments every day.
STEP 4: Keep rolling that boulder uphill (and watching it roll back down)
(Weeks 39 -52)
Writing this book may very well be another of my failed experiments; I’ve tried a lot of stuff, and failed - but with any luck, I’ll get to fail much more. For now, I’ve never been happier than I am now, and I was led here by a series of failed experiments that almost took me out. I wouldn’t change a thing, because those terrible depths that I fell into are in part responsible for the heights at which I’m soaring now. Such is life: ridiculous, futile, hard, contradictory, repetitive, and fun-as-fuck. It’s a rollercoaster you get to ride forever - until you die. But by the time you get to this section, you’ll be besties with Sisyphus, and you’ll be used to thinking about death, if I’ve done my job.
My philosophy leans a little towards the stoic side of the Absurd, and I think order (even if it is an illusion) can help us monkeys maintain a tolerable existence. I see stoicism and absurdism aligning in strange ways; ultimately, one must live for the here and now - in our own reasoned choices, especially in light of the unreasonable nature of the world. In both philosophies, we search for acceptance of what we perceive to be within our control. You gotta be a helluva stoic to roll a boulder up and down a hill for all eternity. You gotta be a helluva stoic to drag your ass out of bed every day and rebel against the Absurd.
A practical guide to this absurd guide:
Take a moment each day to savor these reflections. Make a little habit. I did this with morning coffee. They’re tough, especially in the beginning, but the goal is to push yourself. Let these thoughts entertain, inform, inspire, and maybe keep you afloat in times of uncertainty (which is… like, always). I will try with each reflection to tell you about a concept related to the absurd (philosophical, artistic, scientific), and give my spin the concept or a story, personal or otherwise.
Keep a notebook nearby and write your own reflections - or draw, paint, sing, tap dance, think - whatever you need to do to sort your thoughts. I turned each story/quote into a prompt, which for corny-ass marketing purposes I’m calling Thought Experiments to help you relate, so give ‘em a try. Embrace the cringe.
STEP 1: ACCEPT THE ABSURD AND REVOLT
Part I is about recognizing the Absurd. In the first 90 days of this year, I’ll share the first of four sections. I’m still working out if these will be four separate books, or just four sections of the book, but this first section is the toughest to get through. Seeing the world as unreasonable and meaningless is a tough pill to swallow, but once you do, the healing can begin - or some shit like that.
I wanted to begin in January's because that’s when I started writing this 3 years ago and also because the first 90 days of this work felt like winter. But any time you’re in a low spot life feels cold, harsh, and trying, so while this is labeled by month and day, this section of the book will probably be labeled Day 1-90. Here the goal is for you to discover the absurd in your way. For most people, this is a shock, and you may experience intense, unresolvable emotions. You have to trust that these are beneficial to the process if you can push through. Through is the way out.
I hope in this season, you build resilience and fortitude through the struggle and know that spring is just around the corner. It always comes.
In March 2021, after a year of confinement, misery, and visions of suicide dancing in my head, I finally realized what I had to do. No one told me what it was, and no one could have. I felt my existence fleeting. All of my options were equally ridiculous, but when I boiled it down the only thing I had to do was exist in whatever way that didn’t make me want to discontinue said existence. You have the same choice, hopefully under less dire circumstances.
For me, the choice to continue living came into question as I saw the mirage of meaning fading. I couldn’t find meaning in my role as a mother or wife, or sister, or daughter. I searched my work - the data. There are no randomized clinical trials on the contradictory nature of consciousness. No pill will make sense of the world, nor is there a mathematical formula that solves it all. There is no theory of everything - at least not yet, and even if there were, I bet it won’t magically solve everything.
I had failed to create even the illusion of meaning in my work, but it wasn’t for a lack of effort. I was spinning my wheels along a cushy, glamorous, and completely vapid career track until they fell off. I cursed out my terrible boss, took leave, started meds, wrote my ass off, and finally had the balls to quit the job that once felt so necessary. I was revolting against the Absurd hard as fuck without even knowing it. I hadn’t fully seen how ridiculous the world was, but once I did, once I started writing this, I finally understood that the futility of it all was so fucking beautiful. Just as beautiful as my success, just as beautiful as the most gorgeous sunset I’d ever seen.
I turned to existential philosophy and found that the meaning I imbue in this life is entirely up to me. So, I choose to create meaning by living in rebellion against the meaninglessness of life - without appeal or even evidence.
I hope you can find a light in the dark through these next 90 days, cuz, believe me, it’s gonna be dark. Each day in this quarter, you’ll come to understand as much of the Absurd as can be explained in a fucking page - which ain’t much. This is why you need to do your thinking on the matters at hand. Good luck, and remember:
Leap and the net shall appear.
(Metaphysically, of course.)
January 8: Camus’ Morpheus Moment
*Note I added Titles (per the request of Joel) and moved the thought experiment to the top. If you hate it, leave a comment telling Joel he is wrong and Pranjal is right. Also, get you a kick-ass group of people to share your work with.
Thought Experiment: If you’ve seen the Matrix you know the Morpheus moment. Morpheus offers Neo, (just a random dude) the opportunity to escape the Matrix. What would you choose? The familiar reality you know or the disconcerting truth about the universe.
"There is but one truly serious philosophical problem and that is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to answering the fundamental question of philosophy. All the rest — whether or not the world has three dimensions, whether the mind has nine or twelve categories — comes afterwards. These are games; one must first answer. "
Before moving further in this book, you must contemplate suicide. This is probably the worst fucking advice you could ever get, and for this reason alone, I don’t ever expect to make it into the Self-Help best-seller’s list. This is serious business. Like, fuck the rest of your self-help books. They’re toys compared to this. Camus said every other question besides Should I continue to exist? is a game.
Intense, much? We already talked about this in last week’s reflection, so it shouldn’t be that much of a shock, but well it gets even better: Camus goes on to say that if you do not accept the Absurd, you commit a different kind of suicide - a “Philosophical” suicide. Rejecting the absurd, and failing to take that leap of faith is a betrayal of the fundamental nature of the universe. He says pure, blind belief in religion, science, or other philosophical systems is nothing but the dishonest avoidance of the truth. (OOF)
To me, this seems a little rash. He asks us to consider this very early in The Myth of Sisyphus. Like, bro, I just got here, relax. Give me a minute to think about it! Camus dunks us in the notion of the Absurd, holds us underwater, and tells us we must make a choice to accept the Absurd NOW, or commit philosophical suicide. I’m not with all that.
When I first read this, I did feel compelled against any kind of suicide, and like when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and savior at the vulnerable, tender age of 14, I did what a good little girl was told to do and swallowed the pill. But upon a second reading, I think he makes a mistake here. So in this book, I’ll present the idea early, but tell you that you don’t have to decide whether you think the world is absurd just yet. It might take you some time and exposure to really come into the idea of this yourself - and maybe you never will. I don’t think that means you’re a coward.
You are at the precipice, walking along the edge. You’re looking over into the abyss, and if after reading this, you turn around and head back to the safety of a religion or worldview, be warned - this may haunt you. (Sorry bout that - information hazard!)
Think of Camus as Morpheus offering you the red or blue pill. Return to life as you know it, or consider that everything you ever thought was true might be part of an unreasonable, inexplicable, absurd universe.
Have a great day, LMAO!