A reprieve from the Absurd barrage
Week 5: Lighter fare
These reflections have been difficult to put together. I could group them in a million different ways, but this week I needed a break. It's been an intense 5 weeks, and if I'm writing honestly and clearly you will no doubt feel some of the burden. That's the point.
The first time I wrote these reflections, I must have been numb, because writing these moved me in a positive direction. Almost 3 years later, in a healthier mental place, these reflections have weighed heavy on me the past few weeks. So, I picked a few that felt a little lighter for this week.
January 29 - The Salve of Reason
Thought Experiment: How are you approaching these reflections? If I’ve written honestly, they are as difficult to read as they were to write. Today, give yourself a break from the struggle. Take a deep breath and know that it's ok to use Reason as a salve for the sting of the Absurd.
“Just as reason was able to soothe the melancholy of Plotinus, it provides modern anguish the means of calming itself in the familiar setting of the eternal. The absurd mind has less luck. For it the world is neither so rational nor so irrational. It is unreasonable and only that.”
- Albert Camus The Myth of Sisyphus
Camus is speaking from a seasoned position - one you may not recognize the first time you encounter it. He has searched high and low for meaning and exhausted all of his resources in futility, and you may just be beginning your understanding. The first time I read this passage, I needed comfort. I wrote about finding pockets of solace and little corners of reason. I felt guilt for squirming away from the Absurd, but, bur in reteospect, I was just a baby absurdist weaning off logic that promised explanations it couldn't deliver.
Reason has a place in the absurd mind, as we can't eradicate millions of years of evolution that has brought us here, but its soothing power is limited. Just as the logician recognizes the call of the Absurd in recursions, the absurdist recognizes the pull of logic in practical living. Even if we were commanded to dwell in meaninglessness, we can’t fully. We recognize irrationality and rationality in constant flux before our eyes. When you can’t bear the sight of it any longer, it’s ok to look away. Dont worry about forgetting what you’ve seen. Once you’ve recognized the Absurd, you aren’t likely to be able to soothe it away. If you're lucky enough to enjoy a moment of reprieve, don't bother with guilt or trying to reconcile the irrational and rational. Reason is limited for you now but not gone.
“The absurd is lucid reason noting its limits. ”