TikTok Terminations

We passed the point of rationality a long time ago

I’m back up on my bullshit. You love it. Get it in your box.

I had some time to myself lately, and what did I decide to do? Fuck around and see how much the TikTok algorithm responds to my mood. I was going to make my first YouTube reaction video watching my internet friend getting beat to a verbal pulp by a gang of charlatans, but I’ve only got so much energy. Maybe next week.

If you're on TikTok (i.e., not cheugy) you might’ve noticed that internet microcelebrities are being born before and after getting fired from companies like Ross, Home Depot, Sherwin Williams, Target, Disney, and many more - for posting hilarious videos that chronicle their 9-5 exploits, of course.

But is firing employees for their social media use a good idea?

In some cases, sure, but there may be some value in these …creatives.

TikTokers everywhere are throwing themselves on the sword exposing terrible practices, and if they were smarter they could avoid the whole impaling themselves part. I get it, my loyalty is to my fellow man, not MegaCorp, but a bitch gotta eat. There’s no reason to throw away your source of income to get your 15 minutes of fame. These kids think they’re going to be propelled to fame and financial freedom by roasting the hand that feeds them, but I’d wager that doesn’t happen. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

Let’s start with the simple genius who brought us the rehydration of McDonald’s onions. @JustinAlbert19, first of all, thank you for your service comrade; you knew you were going to get shit-canned for this:

MMMMMMMMMM

Justin, just a thought: could you have exposed the little flavor crystals without exposing yourself? You could be like @Treyrey7 aka @trecymusuele. She did not shown which hotel she works at, dawg. Of course, MickeyD’s is well known, but you could have not used your real name, my dude. Then you’d still be able to be munchin’ on those tasty onions for free. Trey was not fired (as far as I know) for revealing the reviled magic that is hotel powdered eggs:

And her follower count is almost as much as Onion Boy’s.

Justin isn’t alone: StankyLeg Target Employee and the genius who tried to show his videos to the marketing team his company Sherwin Williams were both canned as well. They declined and then later fired him for being too creative. I mean come on Sherwin… he just put blueberries in the paint to jazz it up a bit!

There are also fakers that are claiming they got fired to get more views, and I’m sure that will end in zero lawsuits. This one claimed to be fired for teaching people how to hack into arcade claw machines. The jury is still out as to its authenticity, but clout chasing is a real sickness. It causes dehydration, but does this sweet girl look thirsty to you?

Let’s move on to some of the more confusing ones. It’s not hard to see why these ding dongs would be fired, but there are a few more complicated cases.

Sure, some of these 60-second clips are disparaging to the businesses that pay the makers’ wages, but some of them are hilarious and barely mentioned the parent company, let alone shed them in a negative light. Pure market exposure is important for keeping businesses alive, so if one of your employees is promoting your business in any way on Tik Tok and you receive a million views it's doing a hundred times better than your marketing team ever could.

Whatever happened to no such thing as bad publicity?

This bro was killing time at his job as Paul Blart Mall Cop for Ross. He was just laughing at the absurdity of it all, when Ross’s HR called him and let him go.

Here we have an Oregon man willing to lay his life on the line for the brand, and what does he get for his satirical efforts?

This guy decided it would be fun to sample the water in every place water existed on the Disney Springs property, and post the ratings on TikTok.

Disney didn’t like that, but he might have been ok if he hadn’t also shown people about Disney secret service, and how they don’t lock up shit that they should… ok. Maybe he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, but the view count!

THE VIEW COUNT!

Have we passed the point of rationality? These two gentlemen should definitely be hired by the marketing teams for their influencer reach alone, you could pay these bozos half a normal marketer's salary and receive triple the amount of exposure.

Instead, a team of Karen’s checked the Employee Handbook and decided these creatives should be rewarded for their courage.

It begs the question who's running the PR team at these corporations? Certainly, no one who has their finger on the pulse of publicity or marketing in 2021.

Marketing and HR lady for Ross

Now, I’m not talking about these low-level scrubs who make videos dogging on their customers or suggesting that you can come rob the store and they’re cool with it. I’m talking about consummate professionals. Craftsmen. With lots of eyeballs on their work.

The entire labor market is in pure chaos right now on all levels. High-level talent is hard to find, but god forbid you need your escalator serviced. We need all the creativity we can get our hands to InNoVAtE our way out of this quandary since we can’t seem to convince young folks to get their asses to work and make the lattes for $10/hour. But we’ll save that topic for another newsletter.