You're Condemned to Act

Week 14: Experimenting with Absurdism

Apr 11, 2024

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Not sure if you’ve heard this before, but I’ve got some good news and bad news, gang. I’ve been reading Sartre, and he says we’ve got shit to do:

“…man is condemned to be free. Condemned, because he did not create himself; free, however, because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”

-Jean Paul Sartre, Existentialism as Humanism

I have a little beef with Sarte over his thoughts on freedom, and I’m condemned to get this off my chest. He’s a little extreme and discounts biology more than I think he should. There’s this Hemingway quote that says “Never confuse movement with action”, and I feel like Sartre is doing exactly that. According to him everything do is more or less my fault. I can’t write like Hemingway for several reasons that are out of my control: biologically, I’ve got a sea of estrogen flooding my brain; I was born in the 20th century; I’m not an alcoholic (yet)… the list goes on. Even if I take full responsibility for my actions, if I’m tasked with writing like Hemingway, and I can’t, I can’t really be held responsible for that. Ok, fine no one is telling me I have to be Hemingway. I’m imposing that on myself, but you can't control everything that happens to you. I don’t think Sartre is saying you can, but he is putting a lot of onus on us.

We could totally ignore him, but I’d rather him be right than wrong, I guess. I’d rather have too much control over my life than none. If I rot in bed all day, I can blame depression, the rain, my dad, the United States of Corporatocracy, but ultimately, I’m the one who suffers. I’m reframing this shit because if I’m condemned to this life, Imma write it the way I want to! So yeah, fine

The Bad News:

We’re free. We’re condemned to make choices…

but

The Good News:

We’re free. We get to make choices.

At the end of the day, you can choose to look back on your actions and define yourself by what you did regardless of the circumstances around you. So, if this newsletter turns out to be shit, I can say I spent too much time on this Hemingway analogy, I was too angsty, not angsty enough, or I could have gone a million other directions, but ultimately it’s my choices that made it shit. I like this better than just saying, I was born to a family that didn’t practice proper grammar, or I studied science not writing, or whatever excuse I can come up with to explain why my writing is shit. Plus, if I put it out and it's great, I get credit for that, too. I hate to bring up Kendrick Lamar, given the silly beef with his “contemporaries”, but he's been on some existentialist vibes since he said “I want the credit if I'm losing or I'm winning - on my momma that’s the realest shit.” As much as Sartre annoys me, I gotta agree with him and K dot. This is why make a lot of shit. Any given work may turn out awesome or shitty, but either way, I get to define myself as prolific. And I’ll take credit for all of it.

The Best News:

You’re free. Don’t overthink freedom. Just use it.

I say this as we’re heading into 12 weeks of talking about freedom, ethics, rules, yada yada yada, and I’m feeling straight out the gate that no matter what I say, follow what I do. I do a lot of stuff. I read a lot. I think a lot. I make a lot. and I try to balance it. So I recommend giving this idea a good think, and then stepping away from it, because thinking about freedom is paradoxical. If you obsess over the idea of freedom, you have none. We’ll get into this more in the coming weeks, but Sartre goes on in that lecture to say that thinking about freedom can be paralyzing.

This newsletter is late (as usual), but this time partly because I fell into this trap. I was paralyzed thinking of Sartre’s idea of freedom. I couldn’t shake this thought that: Bitch, I am not absolutely free. It pissed me off, but I was misunderstanding Sartre. He’s not saying freedom is absolute or without consequence. I can’t choose to be Hemingway. I mean, I’m technically proficient enough to model my writing after Hemingway, and I do love a daiquiri, but I'll never be the actual guy. However, what Sarte might be alluding to is that if I want a writing career like Hemingway’s I’m free to try and get like him. Maybe I’d try some of his tips:

Write compelling first paragraphs.
Write in the morning.
Use short sentences.
Read it aloud.

These tips will result in things happening. Reading aloud might lead to losing my voice. Short sentences might make people think I’m superficial, or hella smart. If I write in the morning, I might miss conversations with my kid on the way to school. Freedom is not without consequences.

We can’t even predict most of the consequences of our actions, but what we can do is handle them when they come up. Life is whack-a-mole. Take action, deal with the consequences. Repeat. So, we’re gonna try this attitude on for a few weeks: acting with radical responsibility for choices.

I’m not suggesting that you should assume total responsibility for the shit that happens to you, but I am saying that there are a lot of opportunities to make conscious choices. Like right now, for instance. You’re choice to read this newsletter means you’re not able to do something else with this time. Is there something else you could be doing that would be more aligned with your desires? Maybe you desire to spend more time applying philosophy, or thinking about creativity, in which case, good job that’s what we’re doing here. If not, you’ve got some decisions to make. You could:

stop reading, and go write your own stuff
do literally anything else, or
continue reading to the end, or until you’re moved to action or distracted.

I can’t make you stay. Your ADHD can’t make you leave. What Sartre is saying is that what you do right now is up to you, and eventually your life becomes the total of your choices and actions, boo.

I’m taking responsibility for my desires right now. I feel like shit today. I’d rather go lie in bed, but since I want to help you act in a way that brings interesting things into the world, I’m employing discipline to write. I’ve built that discipline by writing very single day. Inadvertently, I seem to be getting better at my craft, and achieving my desires because the number one thing I hear from people who follow my work is that something I said or did gave them the courage or inspiration to do something they’d been wanting to do. I chose to write “stop reading and gtfo” as #1, because I care more about you reaching your goals than reading this to the end. And I chose to remind you of it here, because if you’re still reading, thank you, but I’m trying to provoke you to think, and act, dammit. I also chose to edit this sentence for impact, because I want it to be clear this to be clear: my desire is to inspire you to action.

So, what is that thing for you? That something you’ve been wanting to do…

And are you going to go do it or are you going to hang out and listen to me talk about how science and philosophy are both saying you need to go do it?

Science and Philosophy are both saying you is what you do

Sartre says our action is what makes our essence. “Existence precedes essence”. Idk if I buy this whole “essence” business as a biologist, but I can play in this language for a minute… what you do is kind of what you are also from a biological stance. Epigenetics is a new field, but from it we’re learning that certain experiences have lasting effects. I’ve done some of these experiments with my own hands, and the action of traumatizing rats left a mark on them…(they’re dead) and me. I can’t say exactly what experience will have what effect, but keeping this in mind, shit you do over and over probably has a compounding effect. Add epigenetics to Hebbian learning, and it looks pretty essence-y from this angle. Don’t put me in the Huberman bucket, but from the scientific perspective, it would appear that Sartre’s on to something: you are what you been up to.

So whatchu been up to?

Some of you have been learning stuff with me which is a totally cool thing to do. I’ve been learning stuff with ya’ll too, but what are you doing with the stuff you learn? Are you applying it? Teaching it? Expanding on it? I’d love to know if something you’ve learned here helped you. If you shared it, or thought about it, or even hated. it.

Thought Experiment

So the thought experiment for this week is to consider what you’ve been doing lately. Don’t try to ponder the abstract idea of freedom, but consider what you’ve actually done with yours and if it lines up with what you want to be.

I don’t want to write my life as Hemingway, but a philosopher-scientist who makes good shit (including an occasional daiquiri) sounds kinda tight.

HBU?

What do you want to be, and what actions are you taking to be that?

***Don’t forget we’re almost half way through the month! Our next Rabbitholes and Reflection Workshop is April 29th at 5:15PM CT in the Discord!

Theory Gang